I did missionary
work on Kauai for 7 years. My whole family witnessed for the church.
In 1999, I was 24 years old and have been seriously questioning my sexuality
for several years. The church has this strict policy about homosexuality.
With my whole adult life in missionary work, living with my husband,
it was like I was living what I guess can be called a double life. I
felt I had no choice but to disassociate myself from the church and
to leave my husband. It was the hardest decision since it meant I would
lose both my real and church family.
a gay man on Kauai who was moving to Oahu so I joined him.
We became roommates in a Waikiki apartment on Seaside Avenue close to
the Food Pantry. I have only lived in fairly rural areas so I was not
accustomed to city noises -- yelling and screaming filtering in from
the street in the middle of the night. On my second night in Waikiki
my roommate took me to a gay bar with male strippers. Since he knew
me as a married woman he thought I was straight. He thought I would
enjoy it. Well I had never seen anything like that and was definitely
not comfortable at all with the whole thing. The only naked man I had
ever seen was my ex-husband.
same night I met a woman at the bar. We started talking, then dancing
together. The next thing I knew I was kissing her on the dance floor.
My roommate was shocked. I guess I was too. But it felt good, after
all these years, to finally not be pretending to be heterosexual anymore.